A Food Hater’s Manifesto

From the Huffington Post:

Food is the newest “It-girl”, the topic du jour. Our First Lady is emphasizing it, Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand is advocating its safety, and Jamie Oliver is conducting a revolution in its name!  But many people have a complicated relationship with food. Mine can be characterized as a bipolar, love-hate hybrid that was destructive for some time before it became productive.

I grew up as a competitive figure skater. One of my earliest memories was being surprised by my first “weigh-in.” Several young girls all under age twelve were lined up single-file. Nerves ate up what little oatmeal I had that morning, as I shuttered from the cold, hoping that I would not be publicly humiliated by the graying coach standing at the scale. That day, I had not gained but I watched my friend eviscerated for an invisible five pounds. In later months, I would catch her trying to purge her food in the public ice arena bathroom.

Incessant dieting and food anxiety became a part of my identity as I honed my sport. One of my coaches impressed a cabbage soup diet on me, while I conducted Gwyneth Paltrow-esque detoxifications on my own. This compulsion tapered off in my early twenties and ended when I became pregnant at age twenty-four. We were euphoric by the news, but inside I was also terrified of getting fat. As I felt my old, self-flagellating demons returning I vowed to change for my new family. Instead of running from food, I would empower myself through food education.

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